Touchy-feelie Industries (TfI) announced a radical breakthrough in touch screen technology -- Extremely Remote Operator Sensing (EROS). TfI is the same company that developed the "through the looking glass" technology, dubbed Accurate Linking of Interactive Causative Effects (ALICE), used in virtual fantasy games. [One is tempted to say that "you had to be there" to understand that, but the point is, I guess, that you don't want to be...I think. -Ed.]
According to Rebecca "something-unpronounceable," TfI has developed a remarkable new interactive link that allows any standard monitor to function as a touch screen -- without modification. Whatever-her-name-is claims "We've discovered that some chemical stuff on people's fingers actually react with the electron flux of the monitor, resulting in some really weird things happening with the signal. We've learned how to 'read' that to create a bidirectional feed. We've dubbed this a 'cybermorphic effect'." [One might guess that this doesn't make sense even in French. -Ed.]
The first commercial application of this new technology is right here in AISC and EDI/OT News. We've installed some very expensive and complicated electronic equipment here in our World Editorial Offices [high atop the Cyclatron Car Wash -Helen] to take advantage of this new technology.
Touching the area below will initiate direct access to our editorial offices and our exclusive, extensive databases covering everything you might want to know about anything. [You might also want to cruise Helen's "Nightime" directory of graphic files, if you're into that kind of thing -Ed.] [Not on your life -Helen] [They're on the company computer -Ed.] [Oh, you mean the one in the room that caught fire later this afternoon? -Helen] [....okay, forget that -Ed.]
Anyway, try out this new technology. We think you'll agree that it's astonishing!
<-touch HERE
[The only possible limitation to this new technology is that highly-charged sexual or emotional states appear to block the cybermorphic response. -Ed.]
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